My name is Aaron Carlisle and I have spent years suffering from the crippling features of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). For those who haven’t the slightest clue as to what I am referring to, I must say they are more blessed than the poor souls who were fated to carry the burden of constantly battling their inner experience in conjunction with the world around them. But how could this come to be? Well it basically involves one or more caretakers failing to provide adequate care, comfort, security, warmth, nourishment, support, and love for their offspring when their child is most vulnerable.
In other words – abuse, neglect, abandonment, rejection, and so on were served on a regular basis with a spoon full of sugar to help it go down. Now why on Mother Earth would I relate something so bitter with the very essence of sweetness? Because everyone knows a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, and that simply means that your subconscious will program you to accept whatever you expose yourself to. I.e. your mind, body, and spirit will all embrace the “reality” that the world is filled with pain and nothing more.
Well that’s pretty ridiculous when you stop to think about that because the last statement suggests that the universal forces of love, compassion, consideration, empathy, etc. are nonexistent in this turd we’ve taken up temporary residence. The fortunate folks I mentioned earlier grew up in a world where they were showered with these wonderfully effective parenting methods, and they’ll similarly find it difficult to understand how one can struggle so much in a world that clearly has so much to offer.
So now that we’ve covered how shockingly different an individual’s perception of the world at large can be, let’s move on to why this day is particularly awesome for this writer. 24 years of my life were spent struggling to define my place in the world. Neither my narcissistic mother nor my depressed alcoholic father offered their children a safe environment to grow and develop both healthily and naturally alike. However, they certainly set us up to fail. But not this bird. I fled that nest as soon as I could, and now I’m achieving more than I ever thought was possible.
Today I finally came to terms with the fact that I’m a friendly butterfly (not really, just metaphorically since I’m quite harmless and rather gentle) who has the ability to fill others with joy and happiness by simply smiling in their direction. People enjoy being around me when I’m open to being sociable. However, C-PTSD used to hold me back so much to the point I sought isolation as opposed to establishing connections with ease as most people typically do. Why? Because I couldn’t prevent the cheese from falling off of my cracker in public for the rest of the world to see.
Now I can choose to enjoy my life since I know others are only repelled by me when I shut down and ignore them like my own parents did to their children. Dig the programming out and shut it out for good so you can live your life to the fullest. Valhalla awaits…
Ladies and gents, Mary Poppins cleaning up faulty programming!
Hey there, reader! My name is Aaron Carlisle and I enjoy writing about the steps and experiences I have taken to heal my personal dysfunctions that were planted by my less than stellar parental figures. This in turn has allowed me to bring these words to you this day, as well as the techniques and methods I developed to overcome my abuse. How? Well it involves digging out the roots at the subconscious level – sounds fun, does it not? Check out how to do just that in my new book entitled Practical Healing: A Guide to Restore Your Life. Many blessings!
Featured Image: Transudationism