Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. –Jesus
Kids! What’s the matter with all of these kids today? Well that’s a fairly loaded question, but I guess we can attempt to hammer an answer out before we bite the dust. So who is your daddy?
My padre committed suicide after losing everything he knew – family, friends, employment, and ultimately his life. Now granted things weren’t always so backwards and topsy turvey, although he honestly didn’t know the first thing about being a father since he spent more time smoking tobacco before catching the latest Red Wings match as opposed to socializing with his family. But who could blame him? The man failed at achieving the dream his own father imposed on him – that is to make it to the major leagues (baseball). He nearly made it, too! However the cookie didn’t crumble in his favor.
So my father wasted his life away by retreating to the bedroom, although my own narcissistic mother didn’t offer him much comfort. But enough about her, let’s focus on him. I remember growing up wanting to have a relationship with my daddy even though he never went out of his way to acknowledge my existence. Unless of course it had something to do with baseball since he knew a thing or two about that.
I remember seeing him get so excited that his own flesh and blood wanted to pick up his personal interest. But it honestly wasn’t enough because we couldn’t even establish a practice regiment, and so he would shoo me away when I asked him to play catch in the yard. “Once the game is finished, we’ll play.” (never happened) I can’t express how much I wanted to spend time with him. In fact, I’m starting to tear up just thinking about it.
His absence became normalized to the point I even used the same behaviors with my own kitty throughout my early adult years. That is ignoring and dismissing the interests of those we were entrusted to care for. For years I knew something was wrong because my baby would get so frustrated with me. But then again it’s understandable as to why this occurred since any sentient being deserves some level of recognition for existing.
Although my cat and I kept running into the same problem my own father and I experienced. We would play (spend time together – interacting more so than just petting and kissing his little noggin) and stop abruptly. However the dry periods were always longer than the play periods, much like it was with my own sperm donor. It’s how my father raised me! I would even get angry with my kitty whenever he would “interrupt” my personal time, regardless of what I was doing.
Thankfully nowadays the script has been completely rewritten since I make an effort to LOVE my baby. How? Well I always seek him out before I do anything else when I get home, unless of course he greets his daddy as soon as I walk through the door. The very thought of picking my baby up as I hold him close to my heart makes my face light up. Tears are there too, but they’re happy tears since my baby doesn’t have to question whether or not his father wants him in his life.
This is particularly true since I make an effort to shower my baby with compliments like:
You’re so handsome!
You’re such a good hunter!
Thank for you being in my life, I love you Zeaky!
My baby typically responds by purring and rubbing his face against my own – all from simply giving praise and acknowledgement when it is well deserved and necessary to support his little heart. I even ask him to decide how he would like to spend time with me, whether it’s to get a treat, play, chill, or a combination of all three.
I love my baby, and he will always know that his daddy wants him around because his daddy understands there is no other kitty like his precious Ezekial. Life is too short to disregard those who share space with our own lives. So remember to love and acknowledge those who share space with you because you never know when they’ll be checking out for good.
Ladies and gents, notice how the kiddies normalize everything their daddies do…
My name is Aaron Carlisle and I’ve been recovering from 23 years of narcissistic abuse and parental neglect. Fortunately everything has been going in a better direction, and this has allowed me to transcend the garbage that comprised my life throughout my development. I.e. kids develop in the manner they were raised. Remember to stop by the lounge to get a better idea of how you can succeed as I have. Valhalla awaits!
Featured Image: Vader Quote – 20 different languages