What is Going No Contact?

Let’s take a break from shattering those mind noodles, shall we?

After all this author has been putting y’all through a lot considering the recently discussed topics!

So just kick back and relax as this author walks you through the experience of severing any and all connections with family and friends to establish a new life.

TL;DR it was hard, but totally worth it.

Why?

Well my malignant narcissistic mother refused to work with this author to create a balanced relationship that actively respected the boundaries of those involved.

Not to mention the fact that other family members ridiculed the author for having the nerve to stand up to an authoritative figure with the reasonable demands of being treated as a human being.

Oh well, it was their loss in the end.

This author finally put his foot down and just stopped showing up to family gatherings. He changed his phone number, said farewell to those he shared a connection, and then took all of the trinkets that served as reminders of his former life out to the woods to burn.

The ashes and smoke represented the breaking of ties, fellowships, bonds – you get the point.

A month had passed and the author had succeeded in switching his routines to found something new altogether.

He accomplished this by wearing anything but black since that was his favorite color. It allowed him to hide in plain sight among those who readily opened their hearts to the world at large.

For its shadows concealed the pain he had carried for so long.

However, blues and greens and whites overtook the author’s wardrobe.

In a sense they symbolized the reawakening of the flora awaiting the approach of Spring.

This in turn elevated his disposition for a time, thus enabling the author to further cleanse himself of the sludge that caked his body all those years.

The proverbial accumulation of repressed emotional garbage that hindered his ability to feel grounded and carefree as most seemingly did around him.

Overtime he came to enjoy the smaller things.

The Sun extending its warm rays across his face.

The dancing leaves bristling in the wind, enveloping his body as he walked among them.

The falling rain as it splashed atop the windshield of his car.

The world was alive, no matter how dead the author felt inside.

For breaking away was akin to ripping a tree’s roots from the soil they anchored themselves since the seeding first reached towards the surface – breaking through to embrace the light of day.

 Time passed and his world changed with it.

Letters were sent as pleas for this author to return, although he usually disposed of them by using creative methods.

Ripping, burning, shredding, or saturating them in his own excrement for an evening before being flushed down the rabbit hole.

He eventually found peace and harmony, though it took him longer than he preferred.

But alas healing runs its course on its schedule.

For we are just monkeys who know how to create iPods, toasters, and precision-guided missiles.

Sophisticated animals who live within the confines of group-think.

That is the notion that it takes a village to raise a child.

Communal needs and bonds are vital components to creating a life of wonder beyond measure.

Although it must be known that we are born alone, and we will die alone.

For that is the price of temporarily taking up residence in this universal turd most call reality.

Many blessings.

Ladies and gents, let’s walk the boulevard together

Featured Image: Pinterest

 

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14 comments

  1. Love the song. I always related to “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake, but this one is…I was gonna say better, but they’re both good for different reasons.

    I am No Response more than NC because I still live in the same place, still have the same contact info, etc. I have gotten emails as well, but no one has begged me to come back. lol. In the sense that I don’t reach out to them, I would be no contact.

    I like the idea of getting rid of certain things. I did get rid of some stuff. But still have others, like an old chair I really like and pictures. Eventually I’m going to utilize the pictures in my recovery some how. I’m not really clear on that yet, but it will certainly involve writing and emotions, no doubt.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you tiger! At first I didn’t recognize the other song you mentioned, although upon looking it I was like “zomg I love this song!”

      So thank you again 😛 But I have exercises that cover the last bit you mentioned if you’d like a free copy. It’s an e book, so just let me know what sort of e-reader you have and I’ll hook you up.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this heartfelt sharing. I am NC since Oct 17, 2011….I set boundaries with the Mother and she hung up on me. I wrote 3 letters. The first one stating her Narcissistic attributes and also sharing that I chose to heal…no response, the second one a year later, telling her that I forgave her and forgave myself and would like to try to heal our family together, no response , the third and final in 2012 as well, telling them that I loved them, but had to move on, and i sold my home as it was in the same town, changed my email, phone numbers and my Facebook account, and never looked back. I walked away in bare boned fashion. Every story of that life I laid in the grave, filled in the grave, and walked away.indeed, my very skin was scorched by their bitterness. I totally resonate with what you said, as if you were ripped up by the roots…it’s a painful truth, but indeed there is strength in this process, that we never knew we had…and it is with such gratitude, that I start each day, in my authentic bones, as the story of my second season unfolds….
    I have no contact with my entire family. Have no contact with any friends from that first season of my life as well. I believe I am living my Divinity…Thank you again..Namaste’ Create an amazing adventure within your world

    Liked by 1 person

    • You just put a big smile on this author’s face 🙂 thank you for your kind words, and I’m glad it resonated with you. After all, it’s good to know we’re not alone. I have a couple of books that detail the experiences and healing process if you’d like copies (e book). What kind of e reader do you have?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh thanks a bunch, I have a kindle reader. Yes, indeed, we are a powerful collective as we step couragously into the open air, and dare to take a deep breath on our own. It is a path that many feel uncomfortable around, when we no longer wear our masks. So many are comfortably numb and I can only bless their journey and move beyond that landscape.
        Each day, at 4:30 a.m. I walk in gratitude and meditate within my world in mornings dark..and as the sun rises, I am flooded with the immense energy of my heart and I am sincerely over all the process of letting go…it indeed was a process to honor and to be grieved with. I walked to that grave and kept throwing pieces of myself and my life in, and the grave got bigger and i would think I had it all in there and yet more came until there was a complete healing and i stood at that grave and filled it in, completely done…and I walked away….not to look back, and at that very moment, I walked beyond the bend of my light and my entire life began new….
        I have a blog At the Table, On my Plate that chronicles my cup of J.O.E. (Journey Of Elucidation)…for when I realized how Flippin asleep I had been, I was crushed…but then you know…..it all unfolds as we begin to witness our matured wisdom….I am grateful I came to your corner of the world..Thank you for sharing conversation…Namaste’

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for sharing your experience and words! I’m at the new Deadpool movie, but as soon as I get back to my laptop I’ll send you a link for both mobi files. Many blessings and I’m glad to have met ya 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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