Hey there, everyone! Hope y’all had a good weekend because this monkey certainly did 🙂 Remember how I spent last Thursday crying? Well it trickled all the way into Saturday (mainly the crying bit – releasing emotional toxicity that’s been stored for long enough = increased ability to enjoy present by processing that which has been experienced in the past), not to mention the fact I spent all of that time reflecting on the source because ya gotta know where the root is in order to pull the weed entirely.
The results? I spent 75% of Sunday laying in bed watching youtube videos – the remaining 25% was devoted for meditating (went for like 25 minutes in a deepened state because sometimes the rabbit hole extends that far down, plus it’s fun to go to your happy place), bathing, eating, and writing this article because I could. Now that sounds relaxing, doesn’t it? That’s because it was!
So what’s the point? Well there were literally little to no negative thoughts that sprung up to beat this monkey’s mind noddle into submission (no metaphors here, move along).
Oh I know, right?! You can get to a point where the critics of today are memories of the past. Why? Because I did it (at the very least doing it), and so can you! I can’t express how wonderful it is to go through an entire day without worrying about anything. Even the worries related to finances, relations, and so on…
Being able to take the stance that I’m an incredibly powerful and resilient being who has been shaped by the experiences and choices that have comprised my life is something I never thought I’d be able to do. Why? Because it’s hard to give yourself pats on the back when the mind noodle is constantly attacking your self-worth. But then I got to thinking about all I’ve been through:
- Almost 25 now (all of the following happened within 10 years)
- Sever depression
- Suicidal thoughts, daydreams even
- Hospitalized twice from passing out (vasovagal attacks linked to ineffective grieving)
- Lost 4 family members (dad, 2 grandfathers, 1 grandmother – suicide, natural)
- Spiritual issues (sleep paralysis, horrid visions, fun times)
- Narcissistic abuse (23 years from malignant narcissistic mother, other relationships)
I could go on, but you should get the point by now. Life has been fun for this little monkey, lemme tell ya! Not to mention the fact I’ve been busy working 2-3 jobs since 15, went to school full-time during those years, and worked on healing myself to break free from all of the garbage listed above…
Talk about putting one’s nose to the grindstone! Once again if I can do this then so can you! It’s incredible to step back and look at your life in its entirety (at least that which you can remember) because we never stop as long as we keep going. Shout out to mychildwithin, loveafterhours, and Gabby Richards for their words of encouragement.
Let’s keep going, everyone! Healing that is 🙂 Life is too short to struggle all-day, everyday because some caretaker sucked a big bag of (fill in the blank) when it came to properly fulfilling their responsibility of loving that or whom they brought into this world. Or at the very least what or whom they were left in charge of…
After all, it’s not our fault we were raised to be dysfunctional because that’s what raised us. But it is our duty and responsibility to put an end to the maladaptive behaviors, constricting thought patterns, and turd-throwing tendencies our own ancestors programmed us to adopt as the only manner in which one can live. Keep up the fight and don’t stop, for we will overcome that which kept us down.
Life becomes easier the moment we learn to be gentle with ourselves.
Ladies and gents, enjoy a smile 🙂
Featured Image: letsrunaway2330 – Tumblr