Hey y’all! I hope everyone had a wonderful initiation for 2017 because this little monkey did absolutely nothing besides stay at home and watch movies after gorging on some delicious food. Now granted, I was sick for the week leading up to this past weekend. So needless to say I already planned on staying in and resting to the best of my ability. Today’s message will cover why you shouldn’t open mail or read messages from an abuser after having severed ties with them. Why? It’ll sicken you, that’s why.
Re-engaging a former abuser directly (really awful) or indirectly (awful) will expose a victim to a plethora of seen and unseen dangers. Once you leave, stay away for good because it’s not your job to fix them or help them cope with the fact they lost an awesome person for being so toxic. That’s on them, not you.
You chose to leave because your health was more important than a stressful, one-sided, parasitical relationship. If your abuser can’t get over the fact you’re gone, then tough cookies. They chose to treat you like garbage and it resulted in you walking away. Keep going and NEVER look back.
If a former abuser wants to reconcile their own “guilt and shame” (unlikely because narcissists and psychopaths project those feelings rather than experience them – psychopaths can’t even feel them at all!), then they can pursue other relationships in which they use the knowledge they’ve gained from interacting with you (where they went wrong) to prevent another catastrophe.
It’s called growing and developing by having learned from one’s mistakes. But guess what? You made the right decision by leaving their toxic BS behind for good. Why? Because you deserve better, that’s why! It’s up to you to forge a new life that will allow you to prosper and thrive without having to worry about tearing leeches off your body 24/7.
Walk away and don’t look back because you’re worth more than your abuser is capable of providing.
Don’t believe me? Here’s an example of indirect contact (just opening a friggin letter without even reading it!).
So what caused my health to suffer? Well there was enough stress in my life from little things adding up here and there for me to capitulate, although there was a straw that finally broke the camel’s back. What exactly? I mistakenly opened a card from my narcissistic mother because I decided that was going to be a good idea (for some reason), even though I inherently knew Admiral Akbar knows the perfect label for that situation.
So why did I do it? I thought I was “tough enough” to brush off any energetic nastiness saturating the “I’m just a harmless Christmas card, nothing to see here” parcel resting before my eyes. I mean seriously, she’s been sending me letters every now and then to the point she stopped writing her own address in the left hand corner since I haven’t responded. EVER. I.e. she thinks I’m stupid for not being able to recognize her mailed turds because how many letters do you get without a return address? I know she’s the only one that sends me garbage without an address.
In any case, I normally just burn her letters without opening them because there’s no point in reading them. In all honesty I haven’t ready any since an abuser will say anything that won’t be backed up by actions, and I’m not about to waste my time reading something with no meaning what so ever. BUT, I did catch two words in the Christmas letter: “Love, Mom.”
My reaction? Well other than pulling a Client Eastwood “look of disgust,” I shredded the card and recycled it while thinking that was the end of that. Long story short, I got sick enough that I suffered a soar throat, chills, and felt oh so lethargic to the point I felt like garbage when trying to leave my place. Trust me when I say that LOVE doesn’t make you feel like shit!
Now some of you might be thinking I was just being ridiculous or exaggerated the symptoms, but I urge you to think of it this way. Have you ever read something and were truly touched by it? I mean emotionally to the point you cried, smiled, laughed, got all warm with butterflies flying in and around your stomach? Yes? I’m guessing you have…
In any case the words have some effect in producing that change within you, BUT the writer’s intention has a lot more to do with it than anything else. I.e. do you honestly think an abusive POS is capable of sharing affection, warmth, and so on? The answer is NO. But they’re great at making you feel like garbage. In fact, they excel at it! So it’s a safe bet that an abuser will be pissed with you leaving, and once again that’s on them .
Thankfully I’m better now, and on a side note I’m happy to say that I FINALLY have my own banking account because apparently the one I’ve had since I was 15 years old was a joint account with my narcissistic mother. I wouldn’t have even known if I hadn’t questioned the bank why fifty bucks went missing from my savings account, but I’m glad I did because they were able to fill me in on what happened. Long story short, she took it straight out simply because she could! Taking from a child – how motherly…
Hope it was worth it ya big twat because I’m thankful to know I’m becoming less and less connected to YOU: the monstrosity that gave birth to me.
Happy New Year!
Ladies and Gents, It’s too late to Apologize…